Everywhere you look, there’s talk about self-care, and it’s often through the lens of consumption: we get advertisements for bath bombs, purchasing fitness sessions and subscriptions, or buying special journals to manage our emotions. When life is hard or your mental health is floundering, the messaging from society is to go insular and work on yourself, by yourself and spend, spend, spend to make yourself feel better. Does this actually work?
As the COVID-19 pandemic rocked our world and kept us physically apart, we turned to the Internet to stay connected. At the time, it was fine to simply host watch parties and play games over Zoom when the world shut down. Everyone from public officials to our neighbors even became advocates for reducing mental health stigma and other previously taboo subjects, emphasizing the value of mental health, community support, and social safety net programs that helped people navigate their lives. 6 years later, conversations and support systems have been strategically stalled and underfunded, and the rise of the gig economy has increased consequences such as stress, hours worked, and financial difficulties, particularly for Black and Brown people. And all of this we are expected to take on alone.
The “self” in self-care is another side to the bootstraps fallacy (you know, the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” ideal). Hyperfocusing on the self has drastic consequences we have already begun to see: in 2023, then-U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released a report stating that 1 in 2 Americans felt lonely and isolated. Half of us are lonely, and our loneliness is creating mental and physical health concerns that impact our lives, including higher risks of heart disease, anxiety, and depression. In 2020, we all understood that our health and our very lives depended on each other and on our communities. In 2026, we are watching as cuts are made to public health programs, insurance, community programming, and so much more. So what can we do about it, and how do we begin to just feel and live better? The answer, we believe, lies in community care.
Community care is basically any care provided by a single individual to benefit other people in their life. It shows up in our lives in many ways that you may have seen more people talk about over the last year– mutual aid, for example, where community members share resources with their community like filling a community fridge, is a very common community care practice. Neighbors rotating childcare shifts to support parents running errands or working is a form of mutual aid. Free “stores” where people in need can get medical supplies, clothing, or other needs met at no-cost are also mutual aid and community care. In contrast to self-care, community care encompasses more than just yourself or the people you have close ties with: it’s about ensuring everyone is taken care of regardless of their background, abilities, and finances. That means everyone’s quality of life is valued and supported.
In the spirit of furthering community care and to discuss its importance, Alternatives is hosting our next Cocktails & Complicity on March 12 to launch a discussion series on this topic. We invite everyone to come together in support of the collective and use the event as an inclusive, safe space to be curious, ask questions, and connect with others over food and beverages. Tickets are pay-what-you-can and are available on our Eventbrite. We hope to see you there and welcome you to our community.
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